Friday, October 17, 2008

IVF doesn't fit into my schedule

It's SUCH an inconvenience to try to make it through an IVF cycle. Work is by law supposed to accommodate medical needs, but my current supervisor really didn't make it very easy on me to get through my first IVF cycle. At one point she was considering having me come in to "make up my time" although I had more than enough sick time and vacation time. I also checked with Human Resources just to make sure that it is OK to use sick time. The HR representative that I met with said that IVF is a "serious medical condition" and 100% use of sick time is OK.

So from where I am now, I really don't know if I can even do another IVF cycle. I am about another year away in terms of work accommodations. I am currently interviewing for other positions and looking for that "big raise" and an understanding boss. I will probably change departments before Christmas, then I reset the clock to waiting about 6 months in a new position before I can really ask off work to do IVF. BUT, I have to get more income coming in our household. IVF is fucking expensive. We have the money to do IVF again, but we need the financial stability so that we can raise a child. Why do people that don't even care about having children get to experience such a blessing? Teenagers get to have children and people that are addicted to drugs end up with babies they don't want. How does this happen? Why is it that I did everything I was "supposed to do" and now we are in this situation and could possibly never get to have a child. We both got our college degrees, we bought our house 7 years ago, we have been married over 8 years now, and have so much to offer a child. It's not just the baby that we want. We want to raise OUR child together, we have raised my husband's biological child together and did a great job. My stepson is such a great kid!!! And now, my husband cannot have a child unless we go through the process of IVF. It's astonishing to me how all of this has turned out. But, getting back to the topic---IVF really doesn't fit into my schedule. How am I supposed to go to graduations, weddings, funerals, even the grocery store and still maintain all of the hormones and the timing for getting the injections? How am I supposed to fit in baby showers before, during or after an IVF cycle when an event like that is not a positive expereince for me? How do I tell people to have some compassion and do not place expectations on me to feel obligated to attend every stupid event that I could possibly squeeze in while I'm doing IVF? I guess the answer would be to just tell people to leave me alone. I'm pretty fed up with the fact that people do not understand what an involved process IVF really is. I'm surprised by the ignorance that I have to deal with when I try to explain what IVF is and that I'm not just popping in to see the eye doctor, but there are actual MAJOR steps involved in the IVF process and yet people still think I could run a fucking marathon while doing IVF. No biggie. I can fit in everything into my schedule. I'm obligated to please everyone right?

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