IVF#1--May & June of 2008

So, the overall outcome was 3 embryos and only one made it to transfer. The one embryo did become a compacting morula, so that was good. It was actually a day 6 transfer, but I was very glad that we were able to transfer the one. The doctor seemed pleased with the quality, but had a lot to say about the overall cycle. He described this first cycle as being "in the valley". Bear with me while I elaborate, LOL. When you look at wavelength patterns or if you are traveling along the highway with beautiful scenery, there are the ups and downs. My IVF doc said that he typically thinks of patients to be within the medium range. (No peaks or valleys) but, patients CAN excel or go within the "valley" range of an overall successful cycle. He will be able to determine more from our next cycle--but with our first cycle, we were "below" what my body was capable of doing. So, he reccommended that I take various things into consideration when we try again. Lower stress, get lots of sleep, take into consideration EVERYTHING that I eat, as well as caffeine. So, my gameplan is this--I'm taking prenatal vitamins now (I've been on them on & off for OVER 5 YEARS!) I also take additional folic acid (because of my diagnosis with epilepsy that is controlled with 300mg of trileptal now) We are also learning more about healthy foods. I TRY to work on that, if anything cutting out fast food as much as I can or opt. 4 Subway, LOL. because it's the little things in life that add up and can make a difference. ANYWAYS--I totally got off track. We started off with Lupron, then we added Menopur and Gonal-F. Lupron was the worst with my mood swing stuff. Maybe because it was the first and my body was adjusting. But, the Gonal-F or Menopur was the one that burned. The egg retrieval was THE WORST!!! I felt so dizzy all day long and had a hard time coming out of the anesthesia. That really scared me. The next day I was fine, it was just a really weird experience for me. When they put the anesthesia in your veins (in the hand) it burned so bad and I was crying most of the morning on & off because it burned right there on my hand. When I was coming out of the anesthesia I really bonded with one of the nurses because I kept saying thank you for choosing this career, LOL. I kept telling her thank you for taking care of me now and making a difference in my life today. I was crying because I was "So happy to make it to this point in my cycle". She was just laughing:) I really was, the anesthesia made it all come out. I was crying tears of joy for a few days actually, hehe. It hurt to lose our 2 embryos, but I was just so happy to be at the finish line. I learned SO MUCH from our first IVF cycle. I learned to believe in myself and I gained back some of the self esteem that infertility takes away from you. I gained so much from watching my husband through the process. He cracks me up! I learned that the son I have now thinks of me as his MOM in every sense of the word. He believes in me and has faith in me to get through this infertility thing--and that goes a long way! I learned that not everyone in life is going to understand everything that I go through, but the ones that TRY are going to be there for life. I have learned who my true friends are and who I can always count on. I have bonded with complete strangers via the internet AND in real life. I have cried more in the last year than I have in the 33 years prior to doing IVF. I have also aged more in this last year than I have in so long. I hope that we reach our dreams and have a baby someday!! I would never take one second for granted of that child's life.